I’m in a transitional phase at the moment. I seem to have been in this phase a long time .. but things seem to be shifting more and more.
I’m about to move from one project to the next .. leave my website alone for a while so I can work on the final modules of the course I’m doing. Today I have had another day to myself with Joey away at Cub Scout camp .. and I have made some progress including taking some photos to get a new headshot. The one above is what I chose, taken on the trampoline.
Here are some other photos I like:
And that is part of my stepping forward.
My next big step will be doing a big update on Instagram.
There are seven weeks until the end of the year. In that time I intend to finish my work experience, and move towards an end of year launch with the rings – since I see them as perfect for marking people’s words for the new year. So I will make that my focus. And then next year, my life can be up and running.
I’m coming up to the end of a year of money journeying with The Art of Money. It has been such a huge year that I haven’t been able to give that course the attention it needed. And I need to decide whether to join up again and have company on the journey next year .. or whether to go it alone with the materials I have. I do credit much of my transformation this year to that course so I suspect I will join again .. but right now I’m still holding back from deciding.
Ambivalence over decision making is something I have lived with for most of my life and something I’m learning I need to respond to. Weighing things up and trying to make a decision can be challenging for me .. especially when time, energy or money are involved. Knowing how much this had held me back (which isn’t always a bad thing) my challenge now is to choose and then run with whatever decision I make – not to double back and feel regret. And it all comes down to getting in touch with my feelings. The threshold of decision making is one I’m always careful to cross .. and much of my life I’ve avoided even making decisions meaning I’ve probably been swept along by other people’s agendas most of the time.
Another new practice is around opening up and staying grounded. Most of my life I have tended to shut down from connection out of a fear of being overwhelmed or overtaken by others needs. I’m starting to see where this belief has come from and am learning that I need to stay open while also looking after my own needs. Since I had shut down to any needs in the past as a way of rejecting people (essentially) .. I’m starting to become more compassionate, inquisitive and outspoken about my own needs and desires. So I am bringing myself to be in the world rather than forever wanting to run away from it.
As I look at my life and my response to my experiences, I see that there is a wild element within me, a sort of inner fire, that has refused to conform – and I think that is simply my unique soul journey reacting to any constraints put upon it. That doesn’t really make sense, but I’ll say it anyway. I think what I’ve held onto is a sort of fierce independence .. but like so much I am discovering lately .. it’s probably all the result of some sort of decision I made early on .. perhaps one where I felt unseen, misunderstood and totally alone. Or maybe the feeling was in me from the start and part of my life lesson – which I would say off the top of my head right now is the realisation that we are all connected.
I wrote out answers to create a profile statement as part of completing the Shine Your Light journey (also why I took the headshots). It was good to reflect on what my vision is since it gets more clear and focused each time I do it. My responses were:
I’m Charmaine Grace
Explorer, writer, designer, creator.
I serve people looking for more meaning and connection on their journey of life.
I create Circle of Life rings.
I’m in the process of creating large interactive sculptures for public spaces that offer opportunities for connection and fresh perspectives.
I love to explore things in order to have clarity and understanding.
I want people to feel more conscious and connected, and to know that they are not alone.
My Big Why :
Inspiring Evolution with Clarity in Action